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Two Girls in My Bed – Not Exactly a Fantasy

I woke up the other morning around 4am and there was this beautiful young girl in our bed between me and my wife. She had bright eyes and a bushy tail and she smiled when I opened my eyes and she said… “Hi daddy!” Hmmm…

“What are you doing in my swamp?” I asked him in my best Shrek impersonation. This, as always, produced a smile.

“Sleep,” she said.

“You don’t look like you’re sleeping to me,” I said.

Mom, who was now awake, decided to try taking her back to her own room and it seemed to work, but I never got back to sleep. So I tossed and turned for about an hour and finally gave in around 5am and got up. I started the dial-up connection and went into the kitchen to start a cup of coffee. In my mind, I imagined the two tasks competing in a head-to-head race to see which would be accomplished first: the finished product of a cup of coffee or finally connecting via the archaic dial-up and weak connection. KB. To my amazement, the computer won hands down. Adding the necessary ingredients to my coffee, I walked to the desk, put the coffee on the desk, positioned the chair somewhere comfortable, and put my hands on the keyboard. Ah yes, I know how to write.

Did I just hear something? A creaking door, perhaps? I turned my back to see a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye quickly heading to our bedroom where I hoped my wife hadn’t suffered the same fate as me that morning while trying to get back to sleep.

“Hey!” I screamed. The figure’s crackling feet stopped dead in their tracks, spun 180 degrees, and headed for the desk.

“I can’t sleep,” she said.

“Join the club,” I said. She tried in vain to tell me she was scared, but I could tell otherwise with her beautiful but lying eyes. She is not yet a very accomplished fiber.

“Why don’t you just lay in your bed with the door open for a while and I’ll protect you since you’re right next to the desk,” I offered.

“Okay,” she said enthusiastically. Too excited for me to think this was going to have any semblance of endurance. Indeed… a few moments later, she came back into the office to tell Dad a really cool story. Of course, it was gibberish and she was making it up as she went along. Gotta love his 5 year old imagination. I have no idea where she gets it from.

Now if I was a mom I would get her back in bed and tell her… you need to sleep because I don’t want you to be a grumpy girl at Nanny’s today and be demanding when you finally get home tonight. It produced moans and cries of protest, and that she was scared and not tired. But I’m not a mom. And I didn’t want to moan or cry at this time of day. I just don’t have the courage that my wife inhibits when it comes to such matters.

“Look dad! she exclaimed, referring to the dawn light streaming through the edges of the mini-blinds, “it’s morning time already!”

“Uhuh,” I said, “but it’s still early honey and I want your mom to be able to sleep.”

“Can I stay up? she asked knowing that I would let her. How does she do that?

“If you stay in your room and keep busy without waking your mom.” She left happily and I honestly didn’t think mom was going to go back to sleep. She has an incredible ability to sit there for hours trying, though. And, I woke up early when I was young. And look at me…I turned out just…good? … Hmmm … wait a minute!

“Jadyn! Go back to bed!

“Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” Now…even the dog was wide awake. I clicked the red X in the upper right corner of the monitor screen and called it a day on the internet.

This very morning, as I write… I went through the exact same routine as the other day, not waking up with my daughter wide awake between my wife and me. I made a little progress in the routine this morning. I was already getting my stats on the pre-season football matches and final cups from the list when I heard…

“Mom!” Come on! 6:15 is what the clock shows. Wow…she’s sleeping, I thought sarcastically. “MOM!” She screamed even louder with more enthusiasm as I was deep in thought. You’d think I’d intercept the screams before they produced a wide awake mom.

I went to his room and opened the door. “What’s the matter, honey?” I asked.

“I want my nut.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know, Dad,” she said with a certain contempt and a hint of sarcasm. It’s a bit early for that, don’t you think?

“Uh…NO! I don’t know.”

“The Peanut.” I am still ignorant. “I think he’s on the shelf with my ballerina puppet.” I moved the puppets and saw no peanuts. “That’s the one I took out in the woods, dad!” Obviously, she finally realized that her father still had no idea what he was looking for. “The squirrel nut!” Good morning ! Yeah, excessive sarcasm. I hate to admit she got that from me.

Now I finally understood what she was looking for. She had found an acorn in the woods once while hiking with her preschool class. I haven’t, in all honesty, seen that crazy acorn in several months and why I’m looking for that pesky nut at 6:15 this morning when I could write a blog entry is way beyond my realm of reasoning.

“There’s no acorn here, Jadyn,” I said.

“Oh…okay. I thought so.” Um…of course you did. Small complicity… Dude, I still love him.

As I tried to get out of her room and close the door, I got the “I have to go potty” routine, so I knew she wouldn’t go back to bed. I got up early when I was a kid. And look at me. I did well. Um…wait a minute. No. I don’t want her to cry this morning. I just had an idea for a blog entry. What about petty corruption?

“Jadyn? »

“Yes Dad?”

“How about I put on a cartoon for you and you stay really quiet and don’t wake up mom.”

“Yeah yeah yeah!” she practically shouted. So much for keeping the house quiet, I thought as the dog emerged from the bedroom.

Anyway… Mom is still in bed (wide awake I’m sure) and my daughter is lying on the couch watching her TV show on TiVo. And that gave me the opportunity to write this. Thank God!

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